The first thing to keep very clear is that Jesus did not say that we would suffer if we follow Him.  No one saw the suffering abroad in this world as He did.  And suffering is abroad in the world not because God created it; God is love and love does not do that.  

This is hard to think about and takes real patience.  For suffering stalks human existence because we, ourselves, in the freedom God gives us, choose to sin and open the door to every kind of disorder—that is, every kind of suffering. But God is still love: and as we have to see it, God just “puts up with”  the suffering we inflict on ourselves and only the very dense can think that God enjoys this in any way.

Now, about our own experience.  As we mature, we discover that we have preferences that make it hard for us to love one another. I watched one marriage of truly loving people come to violence because of a habit of drinking. In this nation right now, half of all marriages end in divorce. We’re tested to have this mindset because a third of all Catholic marriages end that way.  We all make mistakes, but even so, the grounds of divorce are the disordered desires and preferences in ourselves, before and during marriages.

Jesus was talking about this when He said, Have salt among yourselves, and be at peace with each other.” Salt is a metaphor for purification, so Jesus meant that all of us are to let go of our preferences and passions when they mar our love, and give into one another readily and happily.  This salt means changing our intense attention to the cost to ourselves –though it burns and hurts all the while—to a focus on the love that we can give—given this self-sacrifice—that we can give to each other and one another.   

The People of God used this metaphor a lot.  In the Old Testament, being “seasoned with salt” meant being purified and being preserved.  Both are relevant here.  When we have salt among you, practicing self-denial,  we are rubifying ourselves of desires and preferences that are offensive to those we love; and we are preserving love, keeping it alive.

Now abut “suffering as Jesus suffered.” Among the People, one thing salt meant was an awareness of Israel’s covenant with God.  So, Leviticus 2:13, says, You shall not let the salt of the covenant with your God be missing from your grain offering; with all your offerings you shall offer salt.”  For us, this means that when we suffer, we keep aware of how the Lord Jesus confirmed His covenant with us by His obedience to the Father, accepting suffering for love of us.

This is what we mean when we say that we can suffer as He did. He did it, first of all, by showing steady and deep patience with those God put into His life. As though to emphasize this, Jesus once showed how exasperated He could feel: How long must I put up with you? (Mk.9:119).  Then He promptly did a curing for those He was vexed with.  That is: He shook off His own feelings in order to show His love.

St. Paul tries to summarize all of this in some long sentences in his letter to the Romans:  I urge you, then, brothers, remembering the mercies of God, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, dedicated and acceptable to God; that is the kind of worship for you, as sensible people.  Do not model your behavior on the contemporary world, but let the renewing of your minds transform you, so that you may discern for yourselves what is the will of God — what is good and acceptable and mature (Rom.12:1).

The Blessed Caritas Brader put it more succinctly:  “See God’s will in everything, and do His will with joy,  out of love for Him.”

And St. Peter confirmed this conviction: This, in fact, is what you were called to do, because Christ suffered for you and left an example for you to follow the way he took.  But St. Peter saw this leading to glory as Jesus’ suffering led to glory, pointing out that the trials we are going through will show the genuineness of your faith—more precious than gold that is tested by fire—may be found to result in praise and glory and honor at the revelation of Jesus Christ  (1 Peter 2 passim).

An important final note about suffering as Jesus did.  He wasn’t a Stoic. In His prayer in the garden, He showed that He did not, Himself, want to suffer.  Three times, He asked the Father to let Him off from what He was to suffer. Three times. He did not want to suffer any more than we want to.

Then He showed that He found God’s will in everything,  and added,  Not as I will, but as Your will (Lk.22:46). And that is how we can suffer as Jesus suffered—both begging God not to suffer and being clear that we will do what He knows best.